Quantum Leap

Quotes

[opening narration]
Narrator: "Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished... He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home."

[at Sam and Al's first meeting]
Sam: "Who are you?"
Al: "My name is Albert... Albert what, I can't tell you because it's restricted. Most of what you'll want to know is restricted, so it would be a lot easier if you don't ask a lot of questions."
Sam: "What are you?"
Al: "That's a question, Sam."

[Sam has just made the first Quantum Leap]
Sam: "We did it!... Did what?"

Al: "You're part of a time travel experiment that went a little... ka-ka."

Sam: "It all started when a time travel experiment I was conducting went... a little ka-ka. In the blink of a cosmic clock I went from quantum physicist to air force test pilot. Which could have been fun... if I knew how to fly. Fortunately, I had help. An observer from the project named Al. Unfortunately, Al's a hologram, so all he can lend is moral support. Anyway, here I am. Bouncing around in time, putting things right which once went wrong. A sort of time traveling Lone Ranger, with Al as my Tonto. And I don't even need a mask. Oh boy."

[repeated line]
Sam: "Oh, boy."

[Sam has leapt into the middle of a Jewish ceremony]
Sam: "Oy vey, I'm the rabbi!"

[talking about God]
Sam: "In case you haven't noticed, Al, the Committee isn't running this Project anymore... He is."

[Al is helping a stranded motorist]
Al: "I would love to fix that flat for you. But I can't!"
Woman: "Let me guess: It's your only tux, and you're late for your wedding."
Al: "How could I be late? We just met!"

Al: "Don't do anything I wouldn't do. And if you do, take pictures."

Al: "I went over to check out the cheerleaders. Oh, Sam. There was one little girl who had these pommelos, man."
Sam: "Pommelos are grapefruit."
Al: "Pommel - that's my point!"

Al: "Women - you can't trust 'em. They don't understand the double standard."

Al: "Their only desire is for you to pamper them, and play with their..."
Sam: "Al!"
Al: "With their hair! Their hair!"

Sam: "I'm in a soap opera!"
Al: "We prefer Daytime Drama."
Sam: "We...? You watch this stuff?"
Al: "Well, Tina had me watching some of this stuff when I was down with the flu, and Sam, *everybody*..."
Sam: "I know"
Al: "...is sleeping..."
Sam: "I know"
Al: "...with *everybody*!"
Sam: "I know!"

Al: "We're making preparations for Tina's birthday party and she wants me to pop out of the cake. You'll never believe what she wants me not to wear."

Sam: "Say something to me in Spanish."
Al: "Uh, tu casa o mi casa."
Sam: "My place or yours - Al!"

Al: "There are five stages of love. The first is denial, then the second is sex, then there's acceptance, then there's divorce... and then there's more sex, if you're lucky."
Sam: "Who wrote this textbook, you or Zsa Zsa?"

Sam: "Do you know what I have to do today? I have to have lunch with some woman, who won this... soap detergent contest!"
Al: "Well, look at it this way, at least she'll be clean! Have a nice lunch!"

Sam: "Where the hell were you?"
Al: "I was at the Laker game. It went into overtime."
Sam: "A ball game? I nearly died because you were at a ball game?"
Al: "It wasn't just a ball game. It was a play-off game. At the party later, I met this dish named Martha."
Sam: "I guess I can thank God you didn't spend the night with this Martha."
Al: "Well, I did."

[Al and a stranded motorist are in Al's car, driving towards the Project; Al sees the Accelerator lights glowing in the sky, and calls the Project]
Gushie: "Control!"
Al: "What's happening, Gushie?"
Gushie: "He's Leaping! Ziggy said no, but Sam's Leaping!"
Al: "He can't Leap, we're not ready!"
Gushie: "Tell Sam that!"
Al: "Put him on!"
Gushie: "I can't! He's in the Accelerator! Al, Al, what do I do?"
Al: "Nothing! Any interference could kill him! I'll be there in two minutes!"
[to woman]
Al: "Hang on, beautiful!"
[hits the gas]

[about Al]
Sam: "The fact that you were a practicing pervert at the age of 5 has nothing to do with the rest of the world!"

[about Al]
Sam: "At last, something sexual he's NOT into."

Al: "If we knew the unknown, the unknown wouldn't be unknown."

Al: "Oh, well, almost all animals can see me. But you know, there must be something weird lookin' about me, because I seem to intimidate them."
Sam: "Maybe it's your clothes."

Sam: "I can't have a life. All I do is live someone else's life. I right their wrongs, I fight their fights - geez, I feel like I'm Don Quixote."

Sam: "Leaping about in time, I've found that there are some things in life that I can't change, and there are some things that I can. To save a life, to change a heart, to make the right choice. I guess that's what life's about."

Al: "What about the Quantum Rules? You have to at least pretend that you are who you leap into."
Sam: "That's if I'm a human. I'm not a human, I'm a chimp. We don't have rules for chimps, do we?"
Al: "You can't get off on a technicality."

[Sam has Leaped into a robber sentenced to death by electrocution]
Al: "Sam, you're going to die on May 14th. That's in two days."
Sam: "I know that Al! Why?"
Al: "Why? Well, probably because you can't live with two thousand volts of electricity going through your body!"

[Sam couldn't save JFK from being shot]
Al: "Your swiss-cheesed brain probably doesn't remember, but... the first time around, Oswald killed Jackie, too."

[making up a radio news piece]
Sam: "Flash! President Eisenhower in a surprise move resigned from office this morning in order to join a Buddhist monastery. Said Ike 'I just like being around guys with less hair then me.'"

Sam: "I'm running track, Al."
Al: "Oh, well look, you pump your arms and you pump your legs and drive through the tape."
Sam: "You were a runner too?"
Al: "No, but it sounds good, doesn't it?"

[his life in the 70's]
Sam: "Great. I'm on the take, I wear polyester clothes and I live above a bar in an apartment decorated like a gym."

Sam: "What is she doing in Syracuse?"
Al: "I bet a lot people ask themselves that question."

Al: "Don't tell me, let me guess, you've been invited to a costume party and your going as a baked potato."

[Sam is a female secretary in 1961, and his boss is hitting on him]
Sam: "This is sexual harassment!"
Buddy Wright: "I don't know what that is, but I like the sound of it!"

Sam: "Do you have to sneak up on me?"
Al: "I'm sorry. What do you expect a hologram to do? Knock?"

[Al has suddenly materialized]
Sam: "Can't you just fade in, or something?"
Al: "You tell me how to fade in a neurological hologram, and I'll make the cover of Scientific American!"

Al: "Ziggy had a new data search component installed and we had to have it shipped in from Hong Kong and I think that gave a little jet-lag to the modem of the floppy disk."
Sam: "Why do you make this stuff up all the time? Why don't you just say to me, 'Sam, we don't know.' Why don't you just do that for once, instead of making it up all the time?"
Al: "Well, that wouldn't be any fun."

Sam: "They're going to put what happened to me here, and put it in the show! Is that ethical?"
Al: "No, it's television!"

the Devil (as Al): "What gives you the right to leap about time, putting right what I made wrong."
Sam: "I'm just trying to get home."
the Devil (as Al): "Well, you're not going to make it!"

Al, the Bartender: "At the risk of over inflating your ego Sam, you've done more. The lives you've touched, touched others. And those lives, others! You've done a lot of good Sam Beckett. And you can do a lot more."

[chuckles]
Sam: "Al's uncle?"
[smiles]
Al, the Bartender: "I've always found coincidence amusing."
Sam: "And you expect me to buy that I'm leaping me?"
Al. the Bartender: "Sam, if you became a priest..."
Sam: "I've been a priest..."
Al, the Bartender: "So you have. If the priesthood had been your chosen life, even though the Church might sent you from parish to parish, don't you have to accept responsibility for the life you lead?"
Sam: "Even priests can quit."
Al, the Bartender: "That's true. But they can also take sabbaticals, especially before embarking on a difficult new assignment."
Sam: "Are you saying the Leaps are going to get tougher?"
[putting his hand on Sam's shoulder]
Al, the Bartender: "Where would you like to go, Sam?"
Sam: "Home."
[wiping a tear away from his eye]
Sam: "I'd like to go home. But I can't. I've got a wrong to put right, first for Al. You knew, didn't you?"
[smiles]
Al, the Bartender: "God bless, Sam."
[Sam Leaps for the Final Time]