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Commissioner Gordon: "I don't know who he is behind that mask of his, but I do know when we need him... and we need him now!"

Commissioner Gordon: "You know I'm violently opposed to police brutality."

Chief O'Hara: "When it comes to the human brain, we're not equipped."

Bruce Wayne: "I'm just reminded I'd promised to take my young ward, Dick Grayson, fishing."

[about to zoom out of The Batcave!]
Robin: "Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed."
Batman: "Roger. Ready to move out."

Batman: "It's Alfred's emergency belt-buckle Bat-call signal! He's in trouble!"

Batman: "I'll be back in three minutes and twenty seconds."

Batman: "I'm just going to hang around the bar. I don't want to look conspicuous."

Batman: "I never touch spirits. Have you some milk?"

Batman: "Robin, warm up the Bat-spot analyzer while I take a sample of this affected cloth."

Batman: "I've just perfected an Electronic Hair Bat-Analyzer which may hold the key to this baffling question."

Batman: "Just a second while I retrieve my beanie, my hair, my tweezers, and my notes."

Batman: "Nothing's sacred to those devils."

[answering a riddle]
Batman: "Why is a woman in love like a welder? Because they both carry a torch!"

[figuring out a riddle]
Robin: "The opposite of a girl is a boy!"

Robin: "Holy bill of rights, Batman!"

Robin: "Holy haberdashery, Batman!"

Robin: "Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!"

Robin: "Holy atomic pile, Batman!"

Robin: "Horrors! One lemon!"

Penguin: "Here comes the bride, all bagged and tied!"

[organizing his election]
Penguin: "Plenty of girls and bands and slogans and lots of hoopla, but remember, no politics. Issues confuse people."

Joker: "Have a SNEEZE on me, Batman!"
[Joker administers sneezing powder upon Batman, which has no effect]
Batman: "No use, Joker! I knew you'd employ your sneezing powder, so I took an Anti-Allergy Pill! Instead of a SNEEZE, I've caught YOU, COLD!"

Joker: "Either I get The S.S. Gotham, or your precious Dynamic Duo gets launched... to eternity!"
[Joker laughs, Batman and Robin enter]
Batman: "Wrong, Joker! YOU get launched!"
Robin: "Right back to the pen where you belong!"
Joker: "Egads! What sorcery is this? There was enough paralyzing gas in that cork to keep ordinary men unconscious for hours!"
Batman: "No sorcery; merely the precaution of a Universal Drug Antidote PILL!"
[slugs The Joker]
Robin: "You've tripped on one of your tricks this time, Joker!"
Batman: "That replica of your utility belt was too exact!"
Robin: "We analyzed the cork and had found paralyzing gas!"
Batman: "And I happened to notice that the seal around the bottle of that cork was NOT discolored with age... odd in a 1949 vintage!"

[defeated by a gizmo from Batman's utility belt]
Joker: "I swear by all that's funny never to be taken in by that unconstitutional device again!"

[to Miss Klutz]
Dick Grayson: "Why, you're no dance teacher! You're Catwoman!"

Robin: "Maybe you can bully an aging mogul, but not me, Catwoman!"

Batman: "So you didn't tell the truth!"
Catwoman: "Did you ever hear of a crook who did?"

Catwoman: "I'm not just pussyfooting around this time, Batman!"

[Batman has been lured into a trap by Catwoman]
Batman: "Four against one..."
Robin: "Four against two Batman!"
Batman: "Robin!"
Robin: "I couldn't resist. You were taken in by her, but I'm too young for that sort of thing."

[Catwoman has Robin trapped]
Robin: "Catwoman, you are not a nice person!"

Batman: "Oh, Catwoman, Catwoman, will you never learn?"

Batman: "Mr. Freeze, give yourself up. We can get help for you... medical help!"
Freeze: "In prison? This I do not believe. No, you must PAY for what you did to me, for forcing me to live like this: never again to know the warmth of a summer breeze, never to feel the heat of burning logs in vintertime! Revenge. That is what I need! Revenge! I will have revenge!"

[to Mr. Freeze]
Batman: "Naturally you didn't know I was wearing my special Super B long thermal underwear."

Batman: "Poor devil. Forced to live in an air-conditioned suit that keeps his body temperature down to fifty degrees below zero. No wonder his mind is warped."

King Tut: "If the caped crumb is here, the cowled creep can't be far behind."

[to Nefertiti]
King Tut: "How many times must I tell you? Queens consume nectars and ambrosia, not hot dogs."

Riddler: "Batgirls wilt just as quickly as other women!"

Batman: "You better leave the crimefighting to men."

[Batgirl rescues The Dynamic Duo from peril]
Batman: "How did you know?"
Batgirl: "Through the one thing you couldn't possibly have in your utility belt, Batman... a woman's intuition."

Robin: "You're a blot on the name of Gotham City University. When the students find out what kind of a person you really are, they'll hate you forever."

Robin: "Under this garb, we're perfectly ordinary Americans."

Robin: "The way we get into these scrapes and get out of them, it's almost as though someone was dreaming up these situations; guiding our destiny."

Narrator: "Same Bat time, Same bat channel."