Inspector Morse
Quotes
Morse: "I always drink at lunchtime. It helps my imagination."
Morse: "When I'm thinking, I get thirsty."
Morse: "Isn't it your round?" Lewis: "Do you think another one's a good idea?" Morse: "Think? That's why I want it - to think. I don't drink for pleasure!"
Morse: "Is this a dagger which I see before me? I'd rather see a pint."
Morse: "There's always time for one more pint."
Morse: "Drink that, Lewis, and loosen some brain cells."
[on the drinkability of Australian lager] Morse: "They don't spell Australian beer with four Xs out of ignorance."
Morse: "The secret of a happy life is to know when to stop - and then go that bit further."
Lewis: "You're not going to believe this, Sir - we have to visit a brewery!"
Lewis: "Was death instant?" Morse: "Instantaneous, Lewis. Coffee may be instant, death may not."
Morse: "Allowing the pages of The Sun to pass before your eyes, Lewis, does not amount to reading."
[as Lewis makes a chance remark which unwittingly provides Morse with a major clue] Morse: "You've done it again, Lewis!"
Morse: "Where's Lewis? I want Lewis!"
[repeated] Morse: "Lewis..!"
Morse: "Morse. Everyone just calls me Morse."
[episode "Death is Now My Neighbour": Morse reveals the closely-guarded secret of his first name] Adele Cecil: "This anagram: 'Around Eve'? I've tried and I've tried, but all I can come up with is 'Endeavour'. And no-one's called Endeavour. Surely?" Morse: "I told you, my mother was a Quaker. And Quakers sometimes call their children names like Hope and Patience. My father was obsessed with Captain Cook, and his ship was called Endeavour. Why aren't you both laughing?" Lewis: "You poor sod." Adele Cecil: "I'm not calling you 'Endeavour'." Lewis: "Call him 'Sir'. He likes that." Adele Cecil: "Oh no. No, I'll stick to 'Morse' - like everyone else." [raises beer glass] Morse: "Cheers."
[after Morse has been hit on the head] Morse: "'Tis not so wide as a church door nor so deep as a river, but 'tis enough."
Morse: "Get an ambulance to Hanbury House. Fast as you can. Some fool in a sports car just drove into a tree!"
[pointing a gun at Morse] Hugo De Vries: "I'm going to kill you. Or am I?"
[in the Pitt Rivers Museum] Morse: "Is this stuff valuable?" Jane Cotterell: "Some of it, very. But of course all the most valuable artifacts are checked regularly." Morse: "And which are they?" Jane Cotterell: "Well the most popular - the things people most want to pinch - are the shrunken heads." [chuckles] Morse: "I know plenty of people with shrunken brains."
Helen Buscott, Baydon's secretary: "The Secretary of State wonders if you can spare a word." Andrew Baydon: "Knobhead! That's a word I can spare - knobhead!"
Morse: "Have you ever thought about the person who designed the sports skirt? Somebody sat down, drew a fantasy and made it compulsory uniform. I can never watch Wimbledon without thinking of that man."
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