I Dream of Jeannie
Jeannie: "How many would you like?"
Jeannie: "All I do is think and blink."
Jeannie: "I would not be going out with your best friend if I were married to his best friend."
Jeannie: "Master I have a mother-in-law problem."
Major Nelson: "You can't have a mother-in-law problem. We are not married."
Jeannie: "Master is football more important to you than I am?"
Major Nelson: "Of course not, that's like comparing oranges and lemons."
Jeannie: "And I'm the lemon."
Nelson: "How are things going?"
Jeannie: "Terrible I have to make dinner. I mean actually make it without magic. We are liable to die."
Officer Anderson: "You know, this is a one way street."
Jeannie: "I was only going one way"
Major Nelson: "Jeannie's turned against me."
Major Healey: "She can't turn against you. Your her master. She has to obey you."
Major Nelson: "Yeh, who says so?"
Major Healey: "I don't know, maybe it's in the genie manual."
Major Nelson: "Then how come she is deliberately disobeyed me?"
Major Healey: "Maybe she wasn't issued a genie manual."
Jeannie: "Let me see now. A six letter word for rat. M-A-S-T-E-R."
Major Nelson: "Jeannie I never knew how much you meant to me until this happened, I'm never going to let you out of my sight again, look I even brough you flowers. Once I get you out of there I'm going to take you out to dinner, the best candle lit dinner..."
[Dr Bellows, Major Healy and Harry walk in on Major Nelson talking to the moon safe]
Dr Bellows: "A candle lit dinner."
Major Nelson: "I can explain sir."
Dr Bellows: "Being in love with a safe, they haven't got a name for that one."
Jeannie's Sister: "You can make a man eat shredded cardboard, if you play the right tricks."
Blue Djinn: "How does thou wish to die?"
Major Nelson: "Of old age."
Jeannie: "How should I punish him? Should I give him death of a thousand itches."
Major Healey: "How about scratches?"
Jeannie: "Itches are much worse."
Dr Bellows: "Amanda, we're going to be late! That's very neurotic of you."
Dr Bellows: "Cats don't shrink, they only look shrunk when they're wet."
Dr Bellows: "I was right, she wasn't in the kitchen."
Amanda: "Of course not, dear. You'll be happy to know she's not in the pencil box, either."
[Dr Bellows to Major Nelson after one of Jeannies mishaps]
Dr Bellows: "Some men dedicate their lives to science, some men dedicate their lives to politices. I'm dedicating my life to understanding you."
Dr Bellows: "You may be an expert in financial matters, Mr. Huggins, but I happen to be an expert in Major Anthony Nelson."